Family updates

It's been a while since I last post !  Life gets in the way :-)  things are going well.  I am now home full time, lots of things lead to this decision, but work politics surely motivated me to make the bold move.  I was going to down 2 days a week to be home more with the kids, but decided to leave before the new schedule kicked in.  As you know I love my job but I can't keep up with the constant changes at work in management and uncleared directions.  I made through the restructuring but the aftermath of it, even 2 years after, still lingers on with all those who stayed.  Morale was low, I couldn't pull them up and I got too tired and they pulled me down with them.  In the past 10 years, never once a day I woke up dreading work.  The one day it happened and then again, I knew my time is up.  Then one manager I looked up to and admired left early this year and a lot of what she shared stuck with me.  I saw it coming, it's inevitable.  I really thought I would retire here.  One thing I learned is that we can never be so sure of things in life.  We might not change, but people and situations around us do and that changes the dynamic of things and you start to lost trust.  It's unfortunate.

In a way I am glad though, if that even makes sense, that things happened the way they did so I can be home full time with the kids.  Now that I am home, I really wished I quit earlier.  I feel a little guilty for loving my job too much.  I didn't realize how much I am needed at home.  Even just making lunch or watching them play, they love that I am there with them.  And that makes me want to kick myself for missing a few years spent with them.  I also know this is a priviledge not a lot of people get and I am grateful for it.  I am still trying to get use to setting schedule for each day and to take things slowly.  My husband is worry I am might get burn out at home, as I am not one to sit around and rest.  I think I vacuumed everyday, some day twice.  I really need to learn to pace myself.  My order for me for the summer month is to have lots of fun with the kids at home but also lots of quiet time for me to rest and allow the kids to have their "boring" moments.  Those monotonous time are important in a child's development !  It's in that space of time when there's nothing to do but to look inward to imagine, to be creative, to explore, and discover.

Other family news is C is now made principal at his architecture firm, he's more busy but always home for dinner and for playing with the kids after.  He's got a good heart that one, a very considerate manager and leader, I am super proud of him and believe that he will do well.  Bee has her first crush and asked me if I had a crush before.  I said yes, I liked a friend of mine but he didn't like me back.  I told her, her crush might not like her the same way and it's OK.  Not everyone will return our feeling.  She said "yes, he might not like me, but I can like him because it's my feeling".  Very wise that one.  Lovebug is preparing for kindergarten and is very sassy and girly like always.  She also has short temper too so I am working with her, helping her to learn to handle her feeling.  Peanut, sweet destroyer of things, is talking now, lots of words and lots of expressions.  He's particular, very particular, of things, from clothes to food to toys to what he wants to watch.  I try to not give into him, despite his puppy dog eyes and big grin that reaches his eyes when he says "please mama".  The kids are all well, play well, fight well, and sleep well.

Summer break starts in one day !  I have a few things planned and in between are lots of "no plan" slot where we can fill it with whatever we feel that day !  Hello summer hello sun hello blue sky !

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