Little sh*theads


Us earlier on in the day, playing at the playground, petting dog, enjoying lemonade and hunting for eggs.


Maureen's voice sped through my brain, cut through over 10 years of stored memories, "the little sh*thead thinks he can get away with it!"

Mo, as we dearly call her, was telling me how her son was trying to get out of trouble, to which I don't remember the exact details.  I don't know why I remember that exact phrase, perhaps it perfectly described how she felt then and I stored it away for day like today.  My two kids were exactly, I'm afraid to say, that.

If you know me I rarely curse since 15.  But sometime, just sometime, when you feel so crazy frustrated, angry, annoyed and amused all at the same time, a curse word seems to be the only word that can express how you feel, to take the edge of it, to release some steam.  That's me today ! I looked at my two kids rubbing their shirts on the wall in the changing room at the pool.  I told them not to touch the damp wet walls and they decided to rub their shirt and the arms of the shirt on them, to see how wet those walls are !!!!  I moved them away only to find their newly washed feet stomping on a muddy pool of water on the floor.  "Muddy puddle mommy" they chanted !  More like gross murky water left behind from the people before us. Then they refused to put on their pants because I forgot to pack their undies.  I told them I am sorry and that we can put it on when we are home.  We need to put on pants to go out.  They reluctantly let me put on their pants then the little one unexpected yelled "haha daddy will like to see my bum bum".

After I changed them and moved on to me, before I can slip my t-shirt pass my head, the eldest one goes, "can we go out now ?  Daddy is outside".  I told her they need to wait for me.  In that 2 minutes, they bent down to look outside the changing room, jiggled the door handle, pushed each other, and rubbed their body on the door up and down.  Whatever the hell happened ?  I didn't give them any sugar.  Sure we had lemonade made with honey at 3:30pm but it is now 9pm, surely it must have gone through their system already.  If not the 1 hour in the pool must have worked it off.  Where do they get all these energy ?

When we were out of the changing room, I told them to wash their hand since they touched everything in the room, including the floor !  While washing their hands they asked why there are so many hairs in the sink and then attempted  to touch them !!!  WHY ????  WHY ???????????????

My patience at that moment is running on negative.  Screw cleanliness and let them be dirty.  Seriously if they want to touch slimy foamy gross hair balls in the sink and want to jump in brown questionable puddle then go ahead.  I don't care any more!  

After they "washed" their hands, I asked them to dry their hair under the dryer.  They started to fight over who should use what while I put my head under a dryer to dry mine own hair.  When I turn to the side to talk to them, all I see was them inching away from me, walking out of the changing room.  They really know how to pissed me off.  I rushed out after them, asking what they think they're doing, they chirped "WE don't know English !  We only understand viet-tamese !!".  What little shi*theads!  No more swimming for you for a month.

Then the little one pulled down her pants, in front of a room full of people, and turned her bum towards C, saying "look daddy, no underwear !  mommy forgot!"    

All these happened in a span of 15 minutes.  15 super long minutes.

I jotted down this post on a notepad that night.  As I complete this post today (the next day), we are whispering "I love you" to each other over a sleeping baby.  Yeah, there are crazy moments with these kids for sure and surely it doesn't stop here.  However they are pieces that make up our beautiful complicated relationship.