do I look bigger ?

My hubby flexed his muscles and asked "do I look bigger ?"  My heart skipped a beat.  Crap, it's that question again !  I never know how to answer it.  I have absolutely no clue how big his arms were 1 hour ago, before he went to the gym.  Do guy's muscles get blown up like a balloon after they hit the gym ?  Do they look obviously bigger that one supposed to notice the before and after ?  For the life of me, I can not tell. 

"Do I look bigger ?"  This question totally put me on the spot, like I'm a bad wife !  a wife who's not aware of the changes in her husband's physique.  How can I not know what my husband muscles looked like ?  It's not the first time C asked me this.  But it's been a long while since he asked me last.  My mind races through, trying to remember if he mentioned anything on his work out progress.  Was there any BREAKTHROUGH ?  I don't remember.  I would remember if he said it right ?  My memory isn't so strong now a day though :-(  oh boy !  I recently even made the effort to remind my brain to take a mental image of his arms, so I can comment on them.  You know, so I can be a good wife !  One that notice things, even little trivial things like muscles size. But crapola, I forgot to check him out !!!!  for the umtieth time I forgot !  Crapola !

Seeing that I didn't respond right away, hubby thought I didn't hear him, so he went to stand right in front of me, gleefully flexes and asks "so, do I look bigger ?  here, kiss it ?"  Seeing how happy he is, I can not bear to tell him I didn't notice any substantial gain.  They look fine.  The muscles are there, hanging tight onto the bones of his arms.  They look the same like yesterday, the day before, like 10 years ago.  I can't, for the life of me, notice whether they grew or shrunk :(  can't they just be the same ?  Can I just answer "it looks the same" ?  Would that be considered as a discouraging thing to say ???

I didn't notice the changes on his arms, but what I noticed though, is how flat and firm the skin on his tummy is.  They seems to look better by the day.  Maybe he's hungry ?  maybe he hasn't been fed for a while ?  It looks so flat, so empty.  Just then an image of my tummy flashes before me.  I wanted to cry.  My tummy always look full.  I longingly wish mine were some what like his.  Wishing that it doesn't hang out like a muffin top above my jeans.  It saddens me that no amount of sucking in can suck anything in.  I still wear my pregnancy clothes, though I'm no longer pregnant.  I still wait each day for my body to bounce back into its pre-baby weight.  But who am I kidding ?  it didn't go away after the first baby, there's no chance for the 2nd one.  I have to buy 2 sizes up.  Being an optimist, I still have a sliver of hope, that one day, I can fit into my old clothes again.

"It looks like your arms are a bit bigger ! " I decided and stated to my hubby while giving his puppies a peck.  He take in my words, his eyes twinkle, they light up brightly.  He then moved pass me to check himself out in front of the mirror in our hall way, looking all content and happy.  "Oh my love," I thought quietly "it takes so little to make you happy !  How cute and na├»ve you are !"  To be fair, though I have nothing to base on :-/  his arms do look big.  Using my common sense, I think an hour at the gym does make ones muscles grow bigger than before.  You know, like when we walk around a lot, our feet gets bigger, swollen within the hours.  Similar to that, when we work out our muscles, they get swollen for a short while and then will shrink back to its usual size.  Ahhh, but why bother with that bit, it's about "carpe diem" right now !  Let my love have his moment, enjoy his temporary swollen muscles.  Let the man dream.  Let he think that he's soon going to look like those guys on UFC, bulking his muscles on a diet of veggies, fish, kale chips and hemp hearts.  Being kind to my husband allowed me to be kind to myself.  Giving myself a chance to think that I too, by playing with my kids all day, I too will soon be fit & toned like Jillian Michaels (trainer on The Biggest Loser), all the while snacking daily on cheese, chocolate and ice cream.  Yummy !