Gender disappointments

I'm having a baby girl !  We're very excited for her arrival and that she's a girl ! Unfortunately, we can't say the same for others, you know, the strangers at markets, the collegues we barely talk to, the sales ladies at the stores, the asian friends' parents...their disappointments surprised us.  It's like as if they are directly affected by my pregnancy !  What's going on ?

Hubby expressed with me his annoyance of people, of how they would say to him "so now you have to try for a boy !"  Why ? is the world evolved around men ?  he asked me.  I laughed because I've heard it way more than him !!!  Stuff like "maybe the ultrasound is wrong", "your 3rd will surely be a boy", or "try again", blah blah blah.  I don't think the world evolve around men, but I do think people think your family is only "perfect" when you have 1 of each gender.  If you have 2 girls, you must try for a boy.  If you have 2 boys, you must try for a girl.  Just very stereo typical thinking.  People wants the best of both world.  If there's a third gender, I'm sure people would ask us to try to have all three. 

While at a store shopping for clothes, the sales lady noticed my bulging stomach.  When she found out that I'm having another girl, she tried to console me !!!  I was like, I'm happy with my girls.  She didn't believe me ! she told me, to have one of each is so much better (because she has one of each).  I wanted to share my thoughts on that subject with her, but looking at her sincere eyes, I let it go.  She is one of those sweet but closed minded woman that no matter what I say to her would make her think that there are people who don't really care about gender.

I know I know, people just want to start a conversation, what comes out of their mouth are just words, small talk stuff, conversation starter.  They don't really care and maybe are just nosy.  However, as a mom of a child who is yet to come out to meet the world, I can't help but feel defensive of her.  Thing is though, there's really nothing I can say to get it through to them that hubby & I are perfectly happy with 2 girls.  But they weren't seeking for my thought/opinion.  They just want to pin their opinion on me.  If I expressed my feeling, they would think I'm in denial.  If I don't say anything then it means I agreed with them.  Either way they already made up their mind about me.  So no point of saying anything !  It is what it is. 

Ahh, this is just one of those annoying thing in life !!!  Like when you're single, people keep asking: Are you still single ?  and once you're married, they'll will ask: When are you having kid ?  it's a never ending roller coaster.  I know people don't really think about what they're saying.  I know they don't mean any harm.  But when you hear it enough time it's a pain in the behind.

As a mother myself, I think majority of mothers dont fuss too much in the gender dept ! we just want to make it through the gruesome 9 months with a healthy baby.  Sure we do think about the pink and the blue but I don't think it's top on the priority list.  Our focus and energy are all on taking care of our baby and praying for a fast, safe delivery !

When I first found out I was pregnant, I bury my head in all books + articles under the sun on babies !  Make sure I take all precautions to ensure the health of the baby.  While doing all that,  I wait patiently each day, in anticipation, to hear the 1st heart beat, 1st sign of movement, then trying to feel out where the feet, the hand of the baby is !  Praying there are five fingers & toes.  Each week, each trimester marked a milestone that was met with a sign of relief !  thankful to the Lord that we passed it with no complications.  Pregnancy is a blessing but it also come with anxiety because we don't know exactly how well the baby is until we give birth.  So trust me, the last thing we stress over is gender.  Not like we can choose anyways ! 

***After I posted this, more than one mom has told me they do long for a certain gender, and it's completely ok to.  Longing is natural as we're human after all.  But be prepare and willing to let it go if you don't get what you long for.  An acquaintance of our family was so disappointed when her boy wasn't a girl that she avoided him for a while after birth.  It was hard on the family and on the little boy.  They are fine now but I couldn't help but feel so bad for the little guy.  As parent, mom or dad,  it's so important to love your child as who they are, from birth to adulthood, and not what you want them to be !  just something for thought that's all.

Personally, I am envious of those who have sisters :-)  I wouldn't trade my brother for the world though, I appreciate him for who he is.  My mom has a lot of sisters and they are best of friends since like pre-school.  Now in their 60s, they travel together, shop together, go for walk together.  It's so sweet.  My friends are best friends with their sisters too and they do everything together.  I'm lucky if I have a conversation longer than 15 min. with my brother :-)