I think we like to complicate things, making it into something more than what they really are.  For many of us, we can easily list out things we like to do, and who we like to do them with without having to give it much thoughts.   It's unfortunate that we take too long to go after them !  We tip toes around the idea, waste time playing games, over analyze, make way too many assumptions,  and something so simple is no longer so simple.  When feeling overwhelmed, I always have to remind myself to clear my head and get back to basic !!!  what do I want !  Us girls like to confuse ourselves and overthinking little things.  We all know what makes us smile, makes our heart flutters, makes us excited, what gets our adrenaline going, what wakes us up in the morning and what makes us happy.  Yet most of the times we let people dictate to us what we need to do to be happy or who will make us happy !  it's funny isn't it ?  they are not us but yet they act like experts in knowing exactly what we ought to do, what we're missing out, what we should try. 

Not all advices are bad !  you just need to filter through them, to determine if they are from a good friend, or from someone who is careless about your happiness.  Only words from a trustworthy friend should be taken to heart.  Sometime it's not easily to digest but you and I both know,  most of the times what they said are true and right.  At the end of the day, we know ourselves best and what is best for us.  Live honestly and we have little to regret !

"Braking the ‘breakup backslide’ "

I have zero experience in adult dating and breaking up.  I sympatize with my girlfriends when I can but often feel quite helpless in the advice department.  Listening is pretty much all I can offered and most often is all that is needed from me but what is a friend without a few words of advices right ?  After all we know our friends most and some time it helps having a 3rd set of eyes to give an observation into the situation.  What I lack in the dating department I do know in relationship, friendship.  The hurt and pain of loosing someone important.  I have had my fair share of people hurting me.  And one thing I walked away from it is to learn to LET GO !  I can't control the other people and how they treat me but I can control myself.  And myself is telling me I need to move on.  If I don't let go, it'll be something like emotional hoarding, taking up uneccessary space and choking the life out of your heart. 

One morning on the train ride to work I saw a clip on 24hrs newspaper on breaking up and sliding back in !  found it quite interesting, maybe not seeing every point eye to eye but nonetheless good to know !!!  here it is after much searching for the online article:

Braking the ‘breakup backslide’
by Sarah Rowland for 24Hours

Try this simple test: Ask yourself, “If I sit down for lunch with my ex, will hearing about his/ her new date A) grind my heart into minced meat or B) set me free, knowing he/she has truly moved on?” If the answer is A), then clearly, you’re not ready.
So before you start thinking of new and creative ways to reopen the lines of communication between you and your ex, be warned: There is no slope more slippery than the breakup backslide.

Here, then, are three classic regressive moves to avoid:

Banter baiting

This is when you try to re-engage your ex with private jokes and references. The underlying hope is to rekindle that intimate connection you two once shared. And you might think you’re being oh so clever when you send that cute little text, but the truth is if your ex is over you, then this ploy will be totally transparent.

On the other hand, if your ex is not over you, then you might be heading for a relationship relapse, so think twice before you press “send.”

Extending the exchange

There’s no getting around it — you’ve got to return each other’s belongings eventually. But whenever possible, try doing the handoff in one big exchange — as oppose to breaking it down into several drop-offs and pick-ups.

Otherwise, you’re just prolonging the inevitable, as well as risking re-engagement.

So before you call up the ex to ask, “Hey, did I leave my $10-fake gold hoop earring at your place?” ask yourself, “Is is really about the missing inanimate object or is it more about making a lastditch effort to reconnect, and therefore, dragging out our breakup?”

If you don’t know the answer, here’s a hint: It’s almost never about the “things.”

Swan song sex

You might be thinking, how much harm could one more romp for the road do? Well, a lot, actually. After all, it could lead to more postbreakup sex, which may seem hot at the time, yes; but before you know it, you’re in that dreaded grey area, where you’re having no-strings-attached sex with someone you once shared a life with.

And honestly, is that kind of relationship downgrade really what you want, or are you selling yourself short?

a girl and a dog

Kaila loves Toby.  She wants to hold him and make him her baby all the time.  When together, she would be trying to hold him still and he would try to accomodate her without making himself feel uncomfortable.  They share food and milk whenever we're not looking. 

The other day I have to sit her down to explain to her that we don't share food with pet.  He likes his own food and her food might make his stomach go "aw wee".  I also have to tell her Toby likes to run around and doesn't like to be held and squeezed.  She fake cry for a bit then asked Toby to come up and sit next to her on the sofa.  He did just that and she cornered him and held onto his legs.  He fought for a bit then gave up and let her have him.  So much for our talk.

I'm quite surprise at how great Toby is with Kaila.  Some day she would pull him on his tail or his wee wee, and sometime his two hind legs, and he would growl at her but never try to snap at her or anything.  If it's me yanking on his tail he would turn around so fast and nibble at my hand to let me know "let go, it hurts".  But he doesn't do that with her.  I think he knows she's baby and me, adult.

I don't remember who I trained first, Kaila or Toby on how to co-exist peacefully together.  But by rules of common sense and elimination, I think it's Toby first because he was with us before Kaila !  Yes, the memory is coming back to me now.  When I first brought Kaila home from the hospital I took time out each day to let Toby sniff at her.  I talk to him regularly and let him know that she will be an additional member and he needs to watch out for her.  When Kaila was old enough not to be trambled over if Toby was to run into her, I let her pet him and sit next to him and play catch with him.  Before I know it, they accepted each other and became friends.   Now I just have to teach her to be gentle or else Toby will not play with her (more like removing her from his presence because he will always want to play ! even if she hurts him) !

Get out of here

Whether you're travelling near or far, to sit around or dive into the deep blue sea, there's much to learn and absorb when you're out of your house.  When we take ourselves out of our comfort zone we start to experience things we are not used to, and it's good !  we learn new things, embrace new cultures, expand our view, and become more aware of ourself.  We adapt, discover and at the end of it, life is a bit richer and we see things a little clearer. 

Travelling does that to me.  Whether it's a ferry ride away or across the ocean, each city has its own uniqueness, its own vibe and I thoroughly enjoyed my time there.  One of the thing I like to do most when I travel is to schedule in free time to sit at a coffee shop, park or at a central gathering place, and pay attention to the world I'm in.  Listening then filtering out noises, noticing my surrounding, things, people, the change in the air, the wind, the sun, the ground, the soil, watching life happening infront of my eyes.  I found it intriging.  The world is such a big place and there are so much to learn for all of us. 

Whenever I come back from a trip I feel like my eyes gotten a little bigger.  I see and appreciate little things I've been blinded to like clear water, wide open roads, blue smog free sky, green trees, green grass, spacious bus, the variety of sauces I have in my cupboard.  Of course we don't need to be travel to another land to appreciate what we have here.  I think even a walk out of our house can give us a new perspective on things.  Some of us can grow "locally" and for some, a trip out of our cozy shelter is needed to learn/discover things about ourselves, to develop and grow as a person.  Any change of view is good !

fear of height

I'm terrify of flying. Although I fear it, I did managed to force for myself to travel a few times, sitting calmly on my seat and did only the screaming and nervous breathing and panthing inside my head. Then life happened and things like getting a job (which limit the time you can travel), getting engaged, then married, then buying a house coming on the picture. Life takes a big left turn when we have kid and suddenly the possibility of travelling to far and away land are lost in the horizon ! Not like I would go at the beck and call of a great deal anyways, but I like to have the option to. I noticed though, my fear of height increases as I get older.  It doesn't help that hubby is too.  We don't like flying and the thoughts of travelling with a 2 year old who cannot sit still on her seat, needs many small breaks, snacks, cannot walk long distances, and whines/cries/yells out of the blues > these squashes out any rosy ideas I have of a good vacation.

Though we cannot fly, there are many near by places near by that we can travel to. We live in the lower mainland of Vancouver, in BC, so around us there are more than plenty of great travel destinations. Travelling is a time for me to relax and enjoy so I don't like to travel with anyone I can't put up with and vice versa, they need to be able to put up with me. I like to have an itinerary for the day with some empty time slots for "spontaneous" activities. Of course we can change it on the go, but both hubby and I like to have a plan to start with so time is not wasted.  We are foot travelers !  meaning, we like to explore the city on foot, discovering interesting nooks and crannies.  We don't like to be in the tourist areas so if we can avoid it, we would.  Hubby and I are like minded in many ways and enjoy conversing a lot so any type of travelling is such a treat for us !! We really enjoy this time together so when it comes to travelling we prefer just us 2 ! well, now there's 3 !

Travelling anywhere is expensive. I remember one weekend we decided to go to Victoria, on Vancouver island, it costed us over $2500 for 3 days and 2 nights there, on just food and accomodation and ferry cost !!! That's what happened when you plan on the fly. Hotel and food takes up a big chunk of $$$$ so we learned to always make sure we plan well in advance for hotel deals and research on good local eateries. Locals know best and they have proven that to us every time. Research on hotels location, read reviews from many sources, google earth to view the surrounding areas/neighborhoods are a few things I do now in preparation for a trip.

We have couple of plans for this year, one includes a drive down Oregon Coast (a place we love and go quite often), but with weddings, amongst other important events, to attend we might have to do to some picking and voting and last minute packing.  Sometime you know what you need to do but life doesn't always give us that option so we make do with we have :-D

How to turn off annoying Java updates

It seems Java updates itself every week and it was so annoying I made it my mission to find a way to turn it OFF ! 

In Window XP you just have to go to Control Panel > locate Java Plug-in > click to open it > then click on the Update tab to turn it off. 

I recently upgrade my laptop to Window 7 and well, turning Java off takes a bit more work !  I took the long way, going through C: drive, Programs x86 (because my laptop is 64 bit), then Java folder and then the search for the cpl file everyone is talking about !!

1.  Go to Start and select Search
2.  Type in Javacpl.exe and press Start to commence the search
3.  When the file is found, right click on it and select Run as Administrator
4.  A Java window will come up, click on the Update tab

5.  Click to UNCHECKED the 'Check for Update Automatically' and another window will pop up:

6.  Click on Never Check, then this window will collapse
7.  Click Apply, then OK to close

Updates should not appear anymore !  I have mixed feeling about Disabling Java as I do want the latest and greatest from them.  So whenever I remember I would do a manual updates and I think you should too !  Java updates installed the lastest stable version of it (or so I'm told by them).  Well we will always need Jave so you decide what's best and convenience for you !  Enjoy !


There are few personal possessions I actually value and take care of in my life.  I should have realized the value of it when I have it, not until it's no longer readily available when I need it.  Luckily these are things so they are replacable !!!  What isn't replacable are people in our lives.  We take them for granted and when they are no longer around for us that's when we wish we cherish them more when they are around.

When we brought our house, our neighbour, June, encourages us to continously upkeep it.  Even if it's new she says, you have to do yearly maintenance so small issue doesn't become big.  June's house is over 40 years old.  Despite the years, the house is in pristine condition, inside and out.  Keeping June's advice, and being one who loves all-things building, Mr. C would walk around our house often to check up on things.  When summer comes he check into the pipes, drains, and foundation to make sure they are in good shape.  Every weekend, if not raining, he would be outside doing something for the house.  Inside the house, I keep up with our schedule of cleaning, scrubbing, wiping and dusting are being conducted.  This summer we hope to paint a fresh new layers in each of our rooms and retouch the trimmings outside.
We enjoy our house very much. We brought it because it had a lot of what we want.  It's a perfect house for us to raise our children.  We are greatful for it and we want it to continue to shelter us. By taking care of it, we're prolonging its life.

Relationships are more complicated but the same idea applies.  Whether it's love or friendship, each needs constant care and attention.  To keep it spurring forward, you need more than love, it requires time, effort, patience, kindness, understanding, acceptance, gentleness, sense of humour, a heck load of hard work and then more. Communication is key.  Don't stop talking ! Without communication you will grow apart before you know it, and by then it might be too late to mend the gap. So keep the communication channel going !

Like my husband would say to me "preventive T, preventive !  you don't want to wait until something happened then fix it.  You don't want anything to happen period.  You eliminate problem before it becomes an issue !" This can be applied to many things but I rather not tell him as I don't like that's he right too often !!!